Recently in General Category

In the hustle and bustle of what has been my life lately, mostly a solid combination of career and motherhood, I have discovered the glories of a bedtime no later than 9:30 p.m. CST.

In a day and age when riding the fence, politically and spiritually, seems like the safest thing to do in order to keep from being ostracized by society, I find myself speaking out less and less on these topics, despite the knot in my stomach.

But last night, after drifting to sleep with the TV on, and after a day of Brown vs. Coakley, Hubs was flipping channels, and I caught a whif of what was happening, and mumbled, "He won?" Hubs said yes, and I think I slept a tad better last night.

After a discouraging blow two Novembers ago, and a disheartening year of wanting to say "I told you so" to the American public, all I feel like saying this morning is:

GO, REPUBLICANS, GO!!

I haven't written my Kiddo letter for the four months mark. At this point in time, I'll probably just save it for five months, since that will be here in a couple of weeks. I need to download pics off my camera, too. His growing seems to have slowed down a tad in the past weeks--he's not longer flying through the sizes of clothing.

We have been SO BUSY. We finished out December at work on a combination of harsh and joyous notes: the good news is, our error rate was .005%. I don't want to get into what the bad news was, but long story short, I determined I was tired of hearing bad news.

So, one morning, I shot off an email to a business acquaintance. Looking back, it was one of those emails that set off a string of dominoes, because my head hasn't stopped spinning since I pressed send. Moments later, my phone rang, and that conversation sent me into a tizzy finding paperwork. I sent the paperwork, and was put through a grueling interview, in which I had to sell my vision for what we could become. They bought it. And then, before the end of the year, they delivered a snazzy, brand-new HP Indigo 3500.

In the story that will be my life, I think I will look back and say we were at a sink or swim point. Sinking, for me, is never an option. Swimming, while a lot of hard work, at least means we are moving forward. I HATE not moving forward. I hate stagnant feelings, and I hate not learning, and I hate it when we're not making progress.

The emotions that have accompanied this decision equivalent to those that I had after first starting the business. I'm crunching numbers again, thanks to one incredible bookkeeper, who without, this would not have been possible. I'm exhausted--crashing as soon as my head hits the pillow--and I'm not pregnant, this time. I really just jumped off the deep end, but I know how to swim. The waters of potential lured me in.

Kiddo is adorable, happy, and believe it or not, the reason we are doing all this. He's also crying right now, so I'm signing off.

xoxo,
Toots

Kiddo rolled over yesterday. It kind of took me by surprise, and gravity was there to help (I had him propped up on a pillow), but nevertheless, he rolled. A few small pushes and he was on his back. He'll be 15 weeks old this coming Wednesday, so it's a little bit early for him to be rolling over all by himself, but it's a milestone worth documenting, nevertheless.

It's been hard for me to take pictures this month. We've been so busy at work. Even though the overtime hasn't been there this year, the workdays have still been intense. I've been waking up at 6:00 to take care of kiddo, and sometimes I can squeeze a nap in from 7-9 before our sitter gets here, but other days it just doesn't happen. We are going to bed at night at 10:00, right after kiddo eats one last time. It's funny, though--a 10:00 p.m. to 6:00 a.m. sleeping schedule just doesn't put me at my best. I'll get used to it, I know, and maybe this current fatigue is part of that adjustment.

There is so much going on at work. I took one huge breath last Friday and signed the docs for a printing press. It's a huge commitment to make, but I'm determined to figure out how to grow the biz. On one hand, I will be very proud to own it. I know other companies don't have their own equipment, and I would think that we have comparable sales (although we've always been fortunate enough to operate with very little or no debt). On the other hand, there is a strong sense of stewardship that came along with signing those docs, and a reminder to use my time, money, mind, and other resources wisely.

We are thinking about going to a Dave Ramsey convention next year. I think it would be phenomenally interesting, if not life-changing.

I have a lot of design work to finish up this afternoon. And our Christmas tree, despite the fact that it has been up before Thanksgiving, still needs to be decorated.

And now I'm going to go get ready for church.

One orange flavored energy drink. An old ipod. Three miles. Forty-five minutes. And a new-found knowledge that "me" time now involves self-torture.

That was my escape this morning at 5:45, after laying in bed for four hours with a sleeping newborn on my chest, snoring husband by my side, and burrowing dogs at my feet. I got to the gym, jumped on the treadmill, and started a light walk. Miley Cyrus hit the playlist, and I picked up speed. Just as I was about to quit, LMNO's "Romeo" started playing, and I was in the zone. I couldn't stop. Forty-five minutes later, dizzy, I stepped off.

I love the bar at the gym--they have smoothies, energy drinks, and healthy munchies. Having no idea what was melting down back at my house, I ordered a 2-egg white omlette with turkey bacon and fruit. Delighted to not have dishes to do, I scarfed it down as the sun came up, and headed back home.

It's still quiet in here. Husband is still asleep, baby is still asleep, dogs are still burrowed in bed. Almost like I never left. I'm the only thing that has changed--stinky and sweaty, a little more revved up from the energy drink (and waiting for that crash) and a little more worn out from the run. My head hurts, but that's nothing different from the past twenty-four hours.

In a perfect world, I'd be able to be healthy, creative and organized all at the same time. Right now, I feel like I'm picking one thing over the other. Between me, kiddo and work, there is going to be a short end of the stick. I'm definitely sacrificing my self at the moment--but that won't work for long. If anyone knows where to tell me to find that balance, I'd appreciate a cc on the memo.

What a crazy, fun, adventurous week we have just had. A brief recap:

• Hubs lost a major line on Monday. This falls into the obviously not-so-great category, but in a strange twist of hormonal emotion, I'm glad we're not in limbo.


• Hubs got a major opportunity on Monday. Probably part of the reason I'm able to remain so optimistic about the above point.


• I renegotiated some legal fees, some production fees, and a few other invoices this week.


• Saw favorite friends, The Senators Wife + fam on Wednesday night. We always love catching up with their adventures.


• MIL came to town today and we found some major sale fabric for baby's room, so, yes, the decor has changed again. I walked out of the fabric store with 36 yards of fabric for $12. No, that's not a typo. I'll post pictures of it later.


• Got to catch up this evening with an old friend who just had a baby. I'm loving the scoop from everyone on the whole child-bearing process, so it was good to hear more about that.


• We dropped a major rep group this week. So sad, but it was time to regroup. This is probably the hardest thing about this week, and one of the scariest, but again, remaining optimistic is absolutely necessary at this point.


• Our new production system is almost ready to be implemented. I feel a learning curve coming on!


• Was able to reach out and help someone who needed something more than I did. Actually, a couple of people. And that feels good.


• A coworker closed on her first house! Always a big deal, and I'm so excited for her!

Hubs decided a few weeks ago that he was going to head to the lake for a final fling for the Fourth of July. I told him to have at it and get to it, because kiddo will be here before we know it, and everyone keeps telling us that our lives are going to change in a way we cannot imagine.

Not about to be seen anywhere near a bathing suit, I opted to stay home for the holiday weekend. Jen was gracious enough to offer to drive up from Big D to join me. After lunch at Saturn Grill, we spent the day shopping--an activity I rarely have the time to enjoy. She needed a new suit, so we headed to CK & Co, where I drooled over Tory Burch shoes and dresses that I can't wear anymore. Jen bought a darling brown and polka dotted wash and wear dress for work. I was a little jealous.

After that, we sojourned to the camera store so I could pick up a new lens. Thinking it would take thirty minutes and a lesson in how to attach a new lens, I hauled in my camera. However, five minutes later I was out the door, new lens (and some kind of filter for it) in hand. From there, we headed to Children's Orchard--I want to see if I can find a used jogging stroller. No used jogging strollers this round. After that, we decided to check out Sprink Creek Village. I've never been there, but I heard about a cute store called Marcy and Abby. Jen agreed with me that it was darling, but again, I can't fit into any of that stuff right now. Fortunately, there was a maternity wear store across the way, and I found a generic dress and a fun top there. To wrap things up, we finished our excursion in Target--Jen helped me register for a few more things. Two pizzas, two dog toys, and a few ingredients for cookie dough later, we headed home to watch Confessions of a Shopaholic. Cute movie. Again, can't wear any of those clothes. Will be so happy to not be pregnant in a few months!

To commemorate the day, here is Jen, posing for me as I try out the new lens. It was dusk, but you can't tell. The flash is on (I used auto setting), but I think the photo is pretty decent for just a point and shoot. I can't wait to see what other photos will look like with this new lens.

Happy Fourth of July, ya'll!

Today, I feel like a wife.

The alarm went off at 7:30. I shot out of bed, confused. I thought it was supposed to be Saturday? There are no alarms on Saturdays? Hubs quickly assured me that it was Saturday, but he was off to the gun show with my dad and bro-in-law.

Awake, I pulled out my computer anyway. He headed to Starbucks, and returned with three mini vanilla bean scones. Scrumptious. I had half a cup of coffee and devoured them while he got ready to go.

Then he was off. I stayed in bed until he returned, working in circles. Designed until that was boring. Did a little SEO work. Checked google stats. Sent some emails. Analyzed a new website for launch to pick out the bugs. Before I knew it, he was home.

He threw some leftover pizza in the oven. I made some garlic butter, because hey, I'm pregnant, and I'll probably never have scones and garlic butter together in one day after this baby is born.

While I lunched, he headed to the yard. Francie and I watched from the bedroom window as he mowed the lawn, cut down the overgrowth in the beds, trimmed the shrubs. The backyard has really gotten out of control since I bought the house, and it needed some attention. I continued to work, and every now and then I would look up to see the little improvements start to turn the yard from an overgrown disaster into a manicured lawn.

And then I got tired of working. Francie and I headed outside to see what was going on. I trimmed some bushes, albeit halfheartedly. Francie stood there and watched as hubs pulled and cut limbs, and started emptying the shed. Realizing I was not interested in getting that dirty, I offered to go make iced tea.

I watched from the window as he started the chain saw. The tea started to boil. It was blackberry flavored. And that's when I started to feel really wife-ish. Betty Crocker or something. But it was ok.

Of all the emotions I've experienced lately, I'll admit this is one I'd take over the others any day. Sometimes life is full of too much stress and drama.

So Francie and I are back inside now. Francie is still watching hubs from the window, running back and forth every five minutes, kind of like a little kid who doesn't want to be outside, but doesn't want to miss out on any of the action, either. Occasionally, she growls, as if she feels the need to express her concern over what is going on in her backyard. Like, "Overgrown was FINE. Why are you chopping down all my bushes?"

On another note entirely, allow me to change the subject. Last week, hub's mom came to stay. I was having a pillow crisis, and a magazine has asked for pics of the house. She left at about 4:00 in the afternoon. Immediately after her departure, Francie planted herself on the top of the new, furry leopard pillow and didn't move until almost 9:00 that evening.

Evidence:

If you're a reader in the OKC area, we are having a MEGA garage sale today--with a ton of stationery! Stop by!

This middle of the night thing has got to stop. I'm not sure if it's all the prep for our upcoming trade show, stress about the house still not being fully unpacked from moving hubs in, pregnancy, or just plain old worrying about everyone at work being happy, but something is keeping me up at night.

I manage to fall asleep by ten o'clock every night. For those of you who have known me for a while, this should be weird enough, in and of itself. Back in 2002, when I was getting the biz started, my working hours were noon 4:00 am. I slept from 4 to 10, and then got up and started it all over. I think this trend carried over until we moved the office into my house, which sort of forced me to get out of bed when my two employees showed up.

So I'm not sure if it is marriage or my thirties kicking in, but for the past year, I've steadily maintained a 10:00 or earlier bedtime, for the most part. Hubs is very much a 10:00 bedtime guy, and has no trouble sleeping or falling asleep. For the most part, I've followed his example, with this exception: I can anticipate to wake up sometime after the hour of 2:00 am, and not fall back asleep until 6:00. If I wake up at 4:00, I rarely fall back asleep at all, and end up having to fight through the morning on coffee and carbs. (I have gotten back on the coffee wagon, albeit ever so slightly, during the second trimester.)

So I'm awake. It's the weekend, and I don't feel like working. Besides, I did that this morning between 4:00 and 10:00, when I answered a slew of emails in my attempt to empty the inbox. The house is a disaster, but I'm not sure where to start straightening stuff. I'm so over facebook, a little bit over twitter, and not about to get re-sucked in to myspace. I tried to read, but two pages into it, my brain started hopping around again. I don't want to draw, because the house is a mess, and for some reason, I can't draw unless the house is clean.

So, I'll blog.

We cleaned out the garage today, in hopes of having a garage sale next weekend. Between emptying the hubs' house, and consolidating his stuff with mine, it's safe to say we have extra stuff. After the move, this stuff ended up in one half of our garage. The other half of the garage was the Crap Convention (as my dear friend Donna used to call her piles of stuff). It felt so good to empty one half of the garage and start setting up tables, sweeping the floor, organizing all the junk into "departments" for the garage sale. Housewares is aisle 1, stationery is aisle 2, linens is aisle 3, and sporting goods is in the driveway.

Somehow, in cleaning the garage, things that had previously been stored in the garage have suddenly appeared back in the house. Boxes of my baby clothes (why do I feel so obligated to keep them ALL?), doll trunks (four: is that a surplus?), bar stools (we are supposed to paint and use for trade show).

I'm trying to establish today's goals. There are two car loads of stuff to take to the office, and car loads of stuff at the office to bring back for the sale. Church is also an option, but given that I've been awake since 1:30, I'm probably not going to make it through a sermon. Cabinets need to be cleaned out, but there is a professional organizer coming on Monday to help with that. There are a couple of chandeliers to be hung, but hubs wants a "down day", bless his heart. And designs need to be done, but the house needs to be cleaned before that can/will happen.

No wonder I can't sleep at night.

I'll give you two guesses what I bought at Target this morning. Mac and cheese and maternity tops. Seriously--I think there are no fewer than 10 boxes of assorted mac and cheese in my pantry. And the maternity top selection was a little discouraging. I'll pass on the navy and orange floral mumu, thank you. I ended up finding a gray long sleeved t, a black long sleeved t, and some smocked, waist-banded, baggy bunchy thing. Ugh. I feel like I'm not myself and I HATE it. I hope the Lord gives me a healthy, fast-cooking baby.

Did you watch Obama's address to the nation this evening? I missed it, but caught the GOP response. I have to admit, I'm very impressed with that guy. 2012!! Anything is better than the socialism, Robin Hood mentality that I feel saturating our nation. Why are these people PROUD of him? Do they realize that 38% of Americans don't pay taxes?!?! Don't they get that if that number rises, THEY will get to further foot the bill? I don't want to lose my private health care, my small (but still too big, IMHO) government, my right to individuality, the last thread of accountability that the American public is barely hanging onto. I can hear seventh grade government echoing in my head: "Liberty is the freedom to do right, not the freedom to do whatever we want." That's come in pretty handy in some political debates in the past year. Thanks, Mr. B.

Anyway, tangent there. And probably one I shouldn't attempt to debate. I have my ideals, but I don't like to be loud about them. Democrats can be super cranky debaters, and I get stress in my shoulders when I deal with them. Ugh.

I promise, I'm going to try to add 1) photos and 2) relevance to this blog. Sometime. Nottoosoon.