Recently in Baby Category

Kiddo rolled over yesterday. It kind of took me by surprise, and gravity was there to help (I had him propped up on a pillow), but nevertheless, he rolled. A few small pushes and he was on his back. He'll be 15 weeks old this coming Wednesday, so it's a little bit early for him to be rolling over all by himself, but it's a milestone worth documenting, nevertheless.

It's been hard for me to take pictures this month. We've been so busy at work. Even though the overtime hasn't been there this year, the workdays have still been intense. I've been waking up at 6:00 to take care of kiddo, and sometimes I can squeeze a nap in from 7-9 before our sitter gets here, but other days it just doesn't happen. We are going to bed at night at 10:00, right after kiddo eats one last time. It's funny, though--a 10:00 p.m. to 6:00 a.m. sleeping schedule just doesn't put me at my best. I'll get used to it, I know, and maybe this current fatigue is part of that adjustment.

There is so much going on at work. I took one huge breath last Friday and signed the docs for a printing press. It's a huge commitment to make, but I'm determined to figure out how to grow the biz. On one hand, I will be very proud to own it. I know other companies don't have their own equipment, and I would think that we have comparable sales (although we've always been fortunate enough to operate with very little or no debt). On the other hand, there is a strong sense of stewardship that came along with signing those docs, and a reminder to use my time, money, mind, and other resources wisely.

We are thinking about going to a Dave Ramsey convention next year. I think it would be phenomenally interesting, if not life-changing.

I have a lot of design work to finish up this afternoon. And our Christmas tree, despite the fact that it has been up before Thanksgiving, still needs to be decorated.

And now I'm going to go get ready for church.

I've always said I'm a questionable candidate for motherhood. I never wanted a child, at least not in the way some people desperately do. I never not wanted children either, though. When I was single, I was going to live in the single moment, realizing marriage needed to be conquered before children. After I was married, I refused to let myself fall in love with the notion of parenting, just in case we were never able to conceive, carry, or adopt.

So when people asked if I wanted kids, I always replied with the reminder that I was a questionable candidate for motherhood.

When I found myself rather unexpectedly pregnant, I was hesitant. In all honesty, I was more concerned about the pregnancy than I was the parenting. I went through the entire nine months worrying about every kick, still spell, the whole labor and delivery process, and never once thought about what I would do with Kiddo once he arrived. Somewhere in the recesses of my mind, I think I thought it would still be possible to resume life as I had once lived it--out with Hubs on Saturday nights, over at friends houses until two in the morning, and quick jaunts down to Dallas whenever we wanted. I wondered what Kiddo looked like, but aside from that, I didn't think about anything beyond just making sure he arrived safely.

When Kiddo arrived, all that changed in an instant. I'm not exaggerating. Immediately, I wanted to hold him, and I've never particularly liked holding babies. I wanted to feed him, and I've always thought nursing was gross. Now that he's two months old, I know instinctively how to make him stop crying, how to get him to go to sleep, and how to make him smile. When I was pregnant, it didn't dawn on me that we would be up on hours on end for sleepless nights, that he would have a small share of health issues (turns out all children do), or that I'd be totally paranoid about people holding him, and obsessive compulsive about hand sanitizer.

I'm still not the best candidate for Mother of the Year, and I know I will make lots of mistakes in the long run. But my perspective on mothering has changed drastically. I'm more touched by the stories of other mothers than I have ever been. Recently, I've read two blog posts, both of which have moved me to tears. Click on over and read these: at Kelly's Korner, she discusses her recent trip to El Salvador, from a mother's perspective. I honestly cannot imagine what these mothers go through. And on Rebecca's blog, she talks about her little Eli's birth mother, and what an agonizing decision she made to give Eli up. Both of these gals inspire me because of their sensitivity to those in need.

In addition, both stories are reminders of how much I've been blessed with, as well as how much responsibility I've been given. People ask if we want more kids, and my answer is the same as it was before--I don't know. I'm not going to be the greatest mother; I will make mistakes. I don't have undivided attention for one, let alone more. But if someone called me tomorrow and said, "I know a child who needs a family," I would be hard pressed to tell them no.

What I do know is that it is important that Kiddo knows and understands the plights of other children, and that we need to do everything we can to reach out to help those in our community and around the world. And in the meantime, I'm grateful that I have a better understanding of what those kiddos and their mothers are going through.

Well, the schedule seems to be working, which it turns out could be a good or bad thing. The awesome thing about the schedule is that it is acting as a communication tool between us and Kiddo--a great thing to have with a little creature who can't talk. When he cries it really helps us establish almost right off the bat what needs to be addressed. It's very easy to determine if he's hungry, dirty, or tired just by looking at the clock. That's the pro to scheduling. The con to scheduling is that he's not as flexible while traveling. And it looks like varying locations is NOT working, and is not helping us stay on schedule. I know some babies can "sleep anywhere" and up until this point, I thought we had one of those, but I may have misinterpreted.

We traveled to Dallas this weekend to see friends and family. Kiddo woke like clockwork on Saturday morning--1:00, 4:00, 6:30, 9:00. I was sleeping at noon, so Hubs fed him, and then around 2:30, 5:30, 8:30. It wasn't exactly 3, 6, 9, but it close. My mother-in-law took over at that point, and I think he ate at around 1 and 4 again, and then she woke me up at 7:30 Sunday morning to feed him. He ate a little bit, and was hungry again by 9.

I was thrilled. But since we were about to leave, he didn't get much of a nap in after the 9 a.m. feeding. Everyone wanted to hold him one last time, and kept waking him up. I was getting pretty frustrated, but we got in the car, and prepared to stop around noon to feed him. All went well, until after the feeding. He ended up crying off and on the rest of the way home. It was brutal. After we got home, he just kept crying, so I started to feed him again. By this point in the game, everything is so far off schedule. I think he ate at 2:30, again at 3:30, 5:30, 7:30, and 8. Chaos, right?

I think the point of scheduling babies is to get them used to eating a bunch during the day, to keep their tummies full, so that they don't need to wake up at night as much. The sign that you can drop a night time feeding is when they don't eat much during the morning--because they are still full from the last night time feeding. I can't wait for that day!

I think one thing I learned from this weekend of travel is that even though we can keep him on a schedule for a day or so, the varied sleeping locations and travel arrangements wear on his little system just like they wear on us, and by the end of the second day, he was worn out. I now see why my sister says it wears their entire family out when they've been doing too much for a weekend.

We will see how things go tomorrow. So far, after that last 9:00 feeding yesterday, Kiddo has woken up at 12:30 and then 3:30 a.m. The 3:00 a.m. feeding was short, so I'm assuming he'll wake up ravenous at 6:00, which would be great, because it would mean we could start working towards just one night time feeding this week. I'm happy to feed him once in the middle of the night, and midnight is great--but I would really like to be able to get some shut eye after that, and preferably uninterrupted.

In other news, Kiddo will be eight weeks old this coming Wednesday! Time is flying!

One of the most interesting things I'm learning about parenting is that the books are SO contradictory; people's opinions vary drastically. From the get-go, we heard a great deal of people talk about the book On Becoming Baby Wise. Hubs went out and bought it, read it cover to cover, and reported back: a baby on a schedule is a happy, healthy baby who sleeps through the night. The schedule helps instill order in his life, which makes for easy disciplining later on. Sounds good, right?

Well, here is the reality. There is no such thing as a schedule for the first two weeks. It's completely impossible, and I believe, not healthy for the baby. (Actually, let me just insert this caveat right now: it didn't work for us, and that's what I'm basing my opinion on. Of course, it may work for others). If I had to do it again, I would start working towards a schedule the second two weeks. Trying to schedule Kiddo those first two weeks was not fun.

Anyway, we ended up on a decent three-hour feeding schedule, and decided that 3:00, 6:00, 9:00 and 12:00 were easy to remember feeding times. Confession: we hired a nanny, since we both work during the day. She started working for us when Kiddo was four weeks old. For the past few weeks, she's been wonderful about helping us stay on the 3, 6, 9, 12 schedule.

Somewhere between week five and six, I found the blog "Chronicles of a Baby Wise Mom" and started devouring it. Her baby is about 29 weeks old, but she's chronicled the child's life in a Newborn Summary, which I now refer to constantly. I admire this woman, not only for her obvious dedication to her children, but for ability to have three kids and still be able to chronicle in such an in-depth manner. It's some serious commitment. And, I'm eternally grateful to her for how much thinking she's saved me.

If you'll bear with me, I'm going to record Kiddo's schedule here for the next few weeks, if only to keep track of it for my own sake. Keep in mind, this is what is working for us as we work towards a full night's sleep. Opinions are welcome!

So, we're on week seven. And for the most part, here is what Kiddo's day looks like:
1:00-1:30 a.m. - eat, immediately back to sleep
4:00-4:30 a.m. - eat, immediately back to sleep
6:00 a.m. - eat, back to sleep
9:00 a.m. - eat and 45 minutes wake time
10:00 a.m. - down for first nap
12:00 p.m. - wake and eat, 45 minutes wake time
1:00 p.m. - down for second nap
3:00 p.m. - wake and eat, stay awake or very short nap
6:00 p.m. - eat, longer wake time, sometimes no nap
9:00 p.m. - wake and eat.

I try to get him to eat a bunch in the evenings, with the hope that it will get him to sleep longer, so this last 9:00 feeding might be an hour long feeding session with some little breaks. No matter what we do, it seems like his internal clock is going to go off sometime around 1:00 and 4:00 after that.

And of course, if you know me at all, you know that 4:00 a.m. is the magic hour for me to get work done. So naturally, now I'm awake and blogging, while Kiddo and Hubs are soundly asleep. The past few days I've crashed around 6:00 a.m. when Kiddo is ready for another feeding, and Hubs has come and woken me up with coffee at 9:00 after the nanny gets here. To summarize, it's still exhausting.

One other note about this week: I downloaded a baby album from iTunes called "Dream A Little". We put it in the bedroom CD player and, well, it's played all night every night, but seems to have helped drastically. It's like Kiddo gets that when that music is on and the lights are off that he's supposed to be asleep. So grateful for that!

Kiddo,

You are four weeks and one day old today. On October 2nd, tomorrow, that officially makes you one month old. And what an incredible, exhausting month it has been.

The moment they placed you in my arms, my world changed forever. In an instant. Before that split second in time, I was a skeptic. This motherhood thing? Possibly not for me. But then you were there. I started bawling. You had blue eyes. I bawled a little more. You squawked at me. I bawled some more. They took you away to clean you up, and I had your daddy take my camera phone and take a picture and bring it back to me, so I could keep looking at your little face. And when they brought you back to me, I held you and fed you. And your Nana and Poppa and Uncle Toothpick and Mimi and Carpa all came to say hello. And I didn't want to put you down for the rest of the day and that first night.

We brought you home from the hospital and were afraid to fall asleep. You slept in the pack and play in the family room. In hindsight, it's working out well--you sleep through anything! Television, a very loud barking Francie, slamming doors, the vaccum. For almost an entire week, we made sure there was an awake adult with you at all times. And I don't think we turned the TV off that week--it kept us awake. Call us a little paranoid, but we didn't mind. We were in love, and the fall was picking up speed.

You had jaundice. The doctors made us take you in for a check up on Saturday, when you were only three days old. They said you weren't getting enough food. We came home and fed you formula, since my milk hadn't come in. I laid on the floor with you on my chest, in our bedroom, the brightest spot in the house, so that the sun would make the jaundice go away. We had to take you back in for a checkup on Sunday. The doctor said you looked lots better, and that we just needed to keep doing what we were doing. So your daddy stripped you down to your diaper and took you outside and sat in the bright, bright, sun for 15 minutes. Your first little sun-bath. On Tuesday of the next week, we took you back to the doctor for a weight check, and you were in the clear--almost back to your birth weight!

During the second week, your daddy had to go on a business trip, and left us alone for three days. Your Auntie B brought dinner over one night and held you. She LOVED holding you. She wrapped you in a blanket and cuddled you for hours while we sat and talked. She loves you so much. Later that night, when you projectile vomited all over me, I called her, panicking, at one in the morning. And then I called your Mimi. I was so worried. Everything seemed ok, so I just kept a close eye on you. You slept in your vibrating bouncy seat on the bed beside me, so I could hear you breathe. The end of that week, we took you to your two-week weight check, and you were 8.5 pounds!

Over the next week, your little vomiting spells got worse and worse, and more frequent. We finally took you to the doctor when you were exactly three weeks old. The people at the pediatrician's office must think we are nuts--your daddy and I always both go to the appointments. We're so tired, it takes two of us to remember what the doctor says. He told us that your esophagus was probably irritated and gave us some medicine for you. It was scary for us, but the medicine has helped a bunch--at least you aren't projectile vomiting all over us! It looks like you are going to be a bit of a spitter-upper, though. And that's ok.

The fatigue caused some frustrations. Your daddy and I only want what's best for you, but sometimes "best" took two different roads. I'm a germ-freak, and don't think anyone can wash their hands enough. Your daddy thinks I don't keep you on a strict enough feeding schedule. I pretty much let you eat whenever you are hungry, and he says we need to be feeding every three hours on the dot. Thankfully, at the end of four weeks, it looks like we've figured some of that out.

At the same time, we've laughed a lot. In one morning, you pooped on me twice and peed on me three times. The laundry has been incredible--three loads a day? Your umbilical cord fell off during a onesie change, and we couldn't find it. Francie did though, and I had to snag it from her before she ate it as a treat. Last night, we put you in the little infant seat, and laughed at how you slumped over. It will be a little while longer before you're able to sit in there. You make some pretty funny faces--from scowling to serious to peaceful.

You are grasping things, and moving your head from side to side. You can lift your head when you are laying on your stomach, but can't hold it up for very long. You have really long fingers with really short nail beds (like your daddy). We can't figure out who you look like, though, only that you have my lips.

Occasionally, you've given us a bit of a smile--just a tiny little upturned mouth. No giggles, yet, though. You make plenty of noise, with soft little grunts. You can really go to town on your paci, too, when you want to. You LOVE being swaddled. We actually had to go buy more receiving blankets to wrap you up in, because you kept spitting up all over the few that we had. You love that bouncy chair, too. I love that bouncy chair more than you do! And you love car rides, once we get you in the car seat.

You're not a crier, and definitely not fussy. When you're hungry, you want food, but you're sooth-able, as long as someone is holding you. You don't mind your diaper being changed, as long as your daddy's hands aren't cold. When you do cry, Francie is the first one by your side, staring up at the crib, or sitting by the bouncy seat, licking your foot. Generally speaking, I think God gave us a pretty easy baby, and I can't tell you what a grateful momma I am to Him for that!

Kiddo, we have been so blessed by your arrival. We have had so much fun, despite the sleepless nights. We are so excited to see how you grow, and feel so privileged to have been charged with your care. I hope we do a good job--we are so worried about making the right decisions for you. I'm worried that I'll spoil you, but then again, it's probably not possible to spoil a baby with kisses. We are, of course, biased parents, but we think you are the most adorable thing EVER. I have never met someone so darn kissable. We have kissed you lots, and lots, and lots this month. I'm usually not affectionate, or emotional, but those are two things you have brought out in me, so I'm signing off teary-eyed, and I'm going to go pick you up and kiss you some more. I am so grateful for you.

Love always,
Momma

p.s. Your daddy calls you "Squid". I'm not sure why.

Kiddo.

We had a little kiddo on September 2, at 3:49 p.m. It was the most incredible experience of my entire life. In a moment, I completely understood why people put themselves through pregnancy time and time again. He was (and is) the most precious 7 pound, 15 ounce, 20 and a half inch long present I have ever been given. I am so blessed to be charged with his care.

I've been a bad blogger. Life is slowly returning to a new kind of "normal". I have lots to say, and I'm sure it will come out over time. For the time being, I apologize for the lack of photos and updates. We are busy being a mommy and a daddy, on top of regular responsibilities.

But we are loving every single bit of it.

I dropped off my computer at the Mac store today. They told me I had misdiagnosed the problem--that it wasn't the Logic Board, but rather, I just needed a new keyboard. I guess three years of 20 hours-a-day finally got to the poor machine. I'm surprised it took that long.

After that, I headed to work, where I planted myself in front of another computer, to try to get some stuff done. I think all I successfully did was stick my nose into all the business going on around the production room, which apparently did not contribute to my well-being.

After a trip to the bank to sign some stuff, drop off some stuff, hubs and I headed to the doc, who diagnosed me with...ugh...high blood pressure. 150/100 to be exact. I had to ask what that meant, and all they told me was that it was VERY high. They made me lay down. I had to force myself to mentally shut down for those 15 minutes, after which they took my blood pressure again, and said it was 130/85. Much better, apparently.

So doc told me to take it easy. SERIOUSLY? Me? Take what easy? If they made Chill Pills, I'd buy stock. For real. But guess what, they don't! And there is a kid on the way! And stuff to do before he arrives! And you're telling me I have to be calm? I mean, doesn't it stand to reason that this whole "take it easy thing" is just going to stress me out more?

I think I'm channeling dooce.com in that paragraph.

Anyway, I managed to get the passing grade on blood pressure, so they let me go. Not much progress on dilation--3.5. Still 80% effaced. Having some major, inconsistent contractions. A tiny sampling of what I'm in for. I've ditched all thoughts of trying to have a natural childbirth. Unless it doesn't get much worse than what I'm currently feeling, that blood pressure is prone to skyrocket if I attempt natural childbirth. Bring on the epidural!

Meanwhile, I'm commandeered hubs' computer and am holding it hostage.

A couple of weeks ago, I was fiddling with some server stuff, and, long story short, I haven't been able to post in two weeks. Learning by hacking is a fine thing, but I can't expect stuff to work well if I'm dissecting it.

But here I am, sans photos for this post, because my computer is currently in need of a Logic Board replacement. I'm using hubs' computer to post this.

I don't have a ton to report, but for sake of documenting this kiddo's arrival to this world, I'll fill you in on that. Last week, at my 37 week appointment, my doctor told me I was 3 cm dilated and 80% effaced. She was a little surprised, because I haven't felt any horribly contractions. I'll admit, I was a little bit surprised at first, and started to get a tad excited, but, if you know me, you know I curbed that pretty quickly. There isn't any reason to get worked up over something that could or could NOT happen any day. I called my sister, who told me in no uncertain terms that she remained very dilated with all four of her kids, for WEEKS. Lovely. The waiting game has begun.

Today is my 38 week appointment, so we'll see if any progress has been made. I have definitely been having stronger contractions, but nothing even close to unbearable.

I have darling nursery pics; I'll try to get those up as soon as my computer is repaired.

Hubs has been waiting with bated breath to open a gift from the Malones, that Sara gave me in Atlanta. I made him wait, because I wanted to take pictures. Sara's gift wrapping is so simple and elegant, and well thought out!

From top left: I love the scrabble blocks with baby's initials; a haul of gifts; Hicks Paper Goods stationery (she knows I like aqua!); Hungry Caterpillar book; a wooden alligator (she knows I like alligators and classic toys!); Trumpette tennis shoe socks (baby will be wearing the orange to a 'Go Pokes' game this fall!).