November 2003 Archives

In honor of the hell they call shopping November thru December, I've decided to
eliminate for friends and family the stress they say I cause them each year.
People, you can no longer call me high maintence or hard to shop for. Note the
side bar category marked "Christmas List". It's simple, it's easy. Click and
shop. For Whitney. You can't go wrong. Don't call me vain or selfish. Year after
year, I recieve literally hundreds of complaints on what to buy me. This
reference point is for your benefit. Not to mention that I've allowed for
literally everyone's budget. From the practical to the far-fetched, there are
options. However, since the season is about giving, not recieving, please feel
free to post on the comments what your Christmas wants are. Santa will do his
best.

I'm not really into holidays. There isn't really any sentiment attached to the
surroundings I see on the same days, year after year. On the contrary, alot of
stress goes into these ordeals. Everything has been the same for 25 years, and
I'm kind of tired of it. I'm not tired of the people--I love my family, and I
missed getting to spend time with them when I lived in Dallas--I'm just tired of
little, weird, nuance things that have been the same every year since I was one.
They always say be careful what you wish for, but I want something different. I
want something magical. I want Christmas to be extraordinarily spine-tingling,
like the songs and the movies make it. If it's not, I won't complain. You have
to appreciate things for what they are, and it does little or no good (and
mostly harm), to go rocking boats that aren't hurting anyone. I just want a
magical Christmas.

Yawn. Work is about to eat my lunch. Everyone else is headed home to start
cooking turkey, I'm still sitting here at work. Insane. Fortunately, I got a
dent in the to do list today. Remaining are three custom photocards, a line for
next year, two $700 orders that came in this past week (praise God--seriously
was a bad month) and some miscellaneous printing (which just takes a while). I
will probably have to hit Staples tonight to stock up on supplies since they
will be closed tomorrow. And tonight Drew wants to go out. Who knows where, but
I guess I will put in an appearance somewhere with him. That's all for now,
folks...I guess Friday we'll all be a little fatter.

Odd, but Bob the Bachelor has a CD out. Who knew? The guys sings? Does he play
the guitar, too? Drew heard about it and found his website tonight. At first it
was just funny, but I got into the lyrics and I'm completely amazed. Call me the
biggest dork that ever lived, but I love it. I've always had this thing for
poetry/lyric type stuff. I have "those songs" that can put me into the best
mood--the ones I crank up when I have to floor it and get out of town. One of
these days when I feel braver, I'll pull the poetry out. And maybe really learn
to play the guitar, when life and business slow down. And lose myself in
everything that I know is really, really me. And hope that other people listen
with something besides their ears, too. I guess we all just want to be known in
the truest, deepest way possible.

Ok, you know what boggles my mind? How small this town is. For example: had to
meet a client this afternoon, and the only time she had was during her pedicure,
which was to be given at the salon across from my office. Ironically enough, the
girl giving her pedicure was Angela, the girlfriend of Drew's friend Justin. (By
the way, Justin works at Loud, so I'm sure there are a million other connections
there). I met Justin a couple of weeks ago when I was at Cheap Trick at the
Brewery with Drew. Weird thing is: I would have met Angela anyway, considering
that we just ran into each other today, no guys in tow. Also weird and small
worldish: not to go into detail, but Drew's phone became the subject of a heated
debate yesterday. Apparently, Stoney's number is in his address book. How many
people know Stoney? Half of us, at least, including Jen (Jen is Donna's niece,
the lady I share office space with, and worked with me for a while), who used to
work at Galileo with this guy named Christian who used to work at Casady with
Meg. Also, the client I met today knows Christian because he used to go to
school with her son. Also, because of Drew, I met Branden Hart a couple of weeks
ago. So there are two Oklahoma musicians, and we all know how cool I think that
scene is. On a not-Drew note, there was a guy (who shall remain nameless) that I
met a few months ago. Get this: he knows a girl, who knows another girl, who is
best friends with Jen, the girl who used to work for me. I met him several
months before I met Jen. But, could have met him through Jen. Also, a girl he
works with is best friends with one of my clients, Carrie. So could have met him
that way too. On a not-guy note: I used to work with a girl "Leslie" at Paper 'N
More. Ran into her with a few of my other acquaintences on Friday night--my
friend Mike, who I've known since childbirth, Pete, who knows Meg's friend Laura
and Dawnell, Mike's friend. Dawnell in turn hangs out with Leslie, who knows a
slew of other people in the "society" circle that I sometimes cater too. Not to
mention that Meg knows more than half of the people in the above paragraph and
can swap some serious stories. If we want to get into the snobbish side of my
life, Dawnell, Leslie, Carrie and I all know each other from Junior League. The
rest of Jr. League I could say I know on one level or another, and that could
get really complicated, considering that I babysit for several of them. Just
freaks me out how full circle life can come sometimes. Reminds me to keep my
nose clean. And not blog too much. Now if only they all had web pages to link.
Makes me want to have the most kick A housewarming party you could dream up.
Invite all these people and more and just sit back and watch the you-know-what
hit the fan. Could get interesting.

1. Clients that change their mind all the time 2. Waiting on people to get their
act together 3. Annoying jingles 4. Annoying holiday jingles 5. People that act
like life is, itself, one big jingle 6. People who don't understand that my time
is valuable 7. People who can't do things for themselves

I spent most of yesterday afternoon working. I have some big "little" orders to
fill for Christmas, and I have to keep on top of shipping. I'm hoping that the
faster my turn around is, the more everyone will order. And $9 luggage tags
start to add up. I should sell them on the net. They'd be huge--soooo cute.
After that I spent a few hours over at the new house stripping wallpaper. Talk
about a project. My dad and I are going to Home Depot or Lowes or something this
afternoon to buy paint and recessed spots and whatever else he tells me to
purchase. Scary. Joining the ranks of other in debt homeowners. And get this!! I
have to buy a furnace! A freaking furnace! What fun is that? Carpet and rugs,
they're fun. Colorful tile backsplashes--that could get creative. But what fun
is there in a furnace? We seem to think that the current furnace will make it
through the winter, however, so fingers crossed. That's a whopping 5 grand I
won't be able to come up with for some time, I can guarantee you that. So
forgive me if my posting gets a little lax. I'm trying to keep up with the
insanity I've created.

And I get to work this morning to recieve no less than three drunken
commentaries on last night's goings ons. For the record, I would like it to be
known that I worked (something I'll no doubt be doing more often now) and made
$60 cash. To spend tonight. But I love my friends. Ashly, you are completely
amazing, and I've always wondered how you can come up with the most crack me up
stuff at such spur of the moment. You're quick. I'm glad you decided not to go
into child psychology. Kevin, Matt, Ragan, Ryin--the talent you guys have never
ceases to flabbergast me. (HAH! I like flabbergast!) To my Andrew--I think you
know where you stand. And for all the Jennifers and Erins out there, and my
favorite MegO, you guys know I love you too. Friends, I am the proud owner of a
sculpture-carpeted, yellow-kitchened, ancient-wallpapered, but very much mine,
HOUSE. I was done with closing by 9:45. I bought it from a sweet little old lady
who shook my hand and told me she had been very happy there and made me cry.
Makes me cry to even write about it. Tonight is MegO's birthday party at
Pearl's. I'm very excited. I would be even more excited if the birthday present
I order for her from Knock Knock two weeks ago would arrive. And after that, who
knows? Where will everyone be? And what should I put on the front page? (I was
getting a little sick of that small writing blah blah blahing me.)

Today my head is not quite as foggy. I watched the Bachelor last night...who
knew he'd pick Estella? I was completely convinced that it was Kelli Jo. Of
course, they're condensing days into minutes, so I know we're missing out on
some of the picture. But I was shocked!!! Anyway, it was such a cozy night, all
curled up on the couch cuddling and drinking tea and stuff. Made my head feel
better. Also occuring in the reality TV world, casting call for The Bachelor
here in Oklahoma City on December 3. To that I say, DRAT. I've always wanted to
try out for that darn thing and just when the door opens, I'm NA. Continuing on,
Trista and Ryan are apparently doing the wedding thing on TV--looks very cute.
And tonight, the After the Final Rose interview with Bob (who is freaked out
about relationship stuff, obviously) and Estella (who is in love with him, even
though neither one of them will say it). I don't think I'm going to make it out
tonight. My head still needs time to clear and I have to babysit and tomorrow
morning at 9 I'm closing on my house (stay tuned for party info) and usually I
don't even get up by 9 so that means I have to go to bed at a decent hour and no
party for Whitney.

why do gay guys wear great ties and great guys wear gay ties?

Today I feel sick. My head feels heavy and I have to keep blowing my nose. Not
fun. Not good either, considering the workload before me. I got no sleep last
night, and following is a list of everything I have to do today. Not
exaggerating, but aside from some hefty bills I've got to pay and a line to
design for next spring that has to be done in four weeks (basically, a design a
day, on top of everything else), I have to plan January market, packaging for
all next year, make no less than 40 time consuming luggage tags, four custom
Christmas photo cards (deep breath as I continue), finish designing the
invitations for Ballet Oklahoma, get the patron letters printed (order the
supplies for the letters/invitations), schmooz my reps, build a catalog/website
and finish three scrapbooks. Anyone want to trade lives?

Just found this. The writing is excellent, but the thought process is
phenomenal. Very sex in the city. I like.

I've been a very, very bad blogger. Yesterday was full of Monday stuff, and last
night we celebrated my mom's birthday. My niece came over, she's darling. As you
can see, I updated the website, though. The pictures page has some interesting
things, as well as a few new tidbits on bio. As if you wanted to know. So, let
me know what you think of it. Always room for constructive critisicsm.

I guess you know it's a good time if two days fly by and you don't even see them
happen. Went to John Mayer on Friday night, I loved it, totally rocked, gonna
have to have a CD cause I'm addicted. He moved like Kevin when he played, except
it was guitar, not bongos...anyway, I thought that was an interesting
observation because maybe only really great muscicians move that way and that
maybe that means that Kevin's headed for the big time. Cool, huh? So after John
Mayer, I headed over to downtown Varsity with Drew and his friends Greg and
Holly. Greg and Holly both rock. They're not from here, so there are plenty of
accents to make fun of. And then again, even if they were from here, we'd
probably make fun of each other anyway. So we trudged through two plates of
nachos and headed home. Saturday I saw Master and Commander with Russell Crowe.
(I mean, I didn't see it with Russell Crowe, I watched Russell Crowe in it.
Duh.) Awesome movie. A few slow parts, but that's when you had to appreciate the
historical accuracy and the plot building between the characters. There were
some definitely cool characters. As if Russell Crows couldn't be cool even if he
tried. The fight scenes were particularly amazing. The ships were amazing. I
want a frigate! So, four outta five stars for M & C...I dug it. By the way, no
women in the whole movie. No love line, no kissing, no sumin sumin. And it still
rocked. That's some pretty good movie there. Had some great Chicago style pizza
from Sophabellas, then off to babysit, and fell asleep on the rug in front of
the fireplace. So cozy. Now I'm off to the noon service at church. Hopefully
they'll play some good music. Probably will. Always do. And then I have to teach
an etiquette class on stationery (!) and then I'm going to see Blue Man Group
tonight. Oh, and have to meet the cursed Phil--I'm crossing my fingers that
there won't be a whole lot to tell tomorrow.

so here it is: 1. You meet a guy who's a complete bastard, a total player and is
good at everything he does, including charm his way into a girl's panties. The
'rents love him. Go figure. 2. You meet a guy who adores you, treats everyone
with respect, and can't charm anything to save his life (thank goodness) and the
'rents start raising eyebrows. What the heck is wrong with this picture?

Today is one of those days when you feel like you need a drink about an hour
after coffee. Whoa. My head is spinning with all sorts o' moral stuff, right and
wrong, being my own person, stuff like that. Not where I want to be, not usually
where I am. I think I'm just going to have to think through it, justify a bunch
of stuff, get a backbone and go on with life. Tonight Drew and I are going to
John Mayer. All my girlfriends are freaking jealous because apparently John
Mayer has a hottie reputation that precedes him (I don't know about these
things). I'm excited to go because Drew is hot. ;)

Today I wore jeans, a black and white striped top I pulled out of the clean
pile, and light pink high heeled shoes, just because it was impractical.
Jennifer told me I looked Parisian. I love light pink high heels.

omiword. Just when I think blogging can't get any better, Matt blogs one hell of
an editorial on the RDAS. Kudos to the marginally written, but well thought out
opinions, and even more kudos to Matt for speaking his mind! Don't skip the
comments part--Kevin admits to being blonde and there's a dose of Ragan sarcasm
that's guaranteed for giggles. (At this point in time, I'd like to submit a
request to Matt for linking the RDAS dispute sites.) Also entertaining me this
morning is Ryin's post. The web world is rockin' this morning.

At the moment, I love how small this city is. I love that it's a community
without being a gossip rampage (if you know how to stay out of it). I love that
I discover new things about it and it's people every day. And, for the most
part, I love every single little tiny person in it, because somehow, around me,
the web of people I call my world is separated by very few degrees and they all
know me from their own angle. And it's nice to be known, even if it takes every
person in this town to understand me.

Face it, Ryin...you've gotta love the attention. Determined: 1. Ryin could
possibly be a hottie. 2. He stole my birthday! (that's the weird part) 3. Works
on alotta Christian music stuff. (is this also weird?) But, at his request,
we'll let this die. On a separate train of thought, allow me to mention that I
adore Rob Thomas.

...that Ryin's elusiveness leads one to believe that he could, very possibly, be
a closet hottie, in which case, women everywhere will be sadly disappointed to
learn that there is only one of him floating around out there. Alas... On the
other hand, maybe he's just a marketing genius. Speaking of hotties, where is
Kevin today, anyway?

Thanks to Kevin's suggestion, I just enjoyed a very fine Marie Callendar's
Chicken Pot Pie. Yum in heaven. I desperately need a nap, because I'm going to
the game tonight and have to leave at three. Must leave my avid followers with
this request: who is Ryin? Where did he come from, what does he look like, and
how did his taste in music become so educated and progressive? And what is a
residual pixel? These are questions I need answered, people.

It seems like (in Oklahoma especially), everyone has to be on that search for
"the one". We're not whole, complete, unless we're married with 2.5 kids. I used
to think this way. I had to go to college, meet a guy, date only him and get
married. A rather disturbing break-up proved that even though this was the path
my parents chose, it wasn't for everyone. Overnight, I was hurled into a world
of having to find a job instead of a husband, a career instead of a
relationship. Not exactly what I had planned on. I floundered for a few months.
I couldn't deal with the fact that we were actually apart. I called way too many
times, asked way too many questions, when I should have just walked away and
realized life would go on. In my mind, there was no way that actually could have
happened--and I was struggling to understand why. I'm sure I backed him into a
few corners. Not fair of me at all. We're all entitled to our feelings and it
was my responsibility to accept the fact that he didn't feel the same towards me
anymore. My email last night from another ex, plus Ashly's and Kevin's comments,
started conjuring up these thoughts in me. I felt like I was in a corner.
Telling your ex stuff like "I miss you" could be considered a form of
manipulation, no matter how sincere. It's not really fair to either party.
Sometimes feelings are best when shoved under rugs, especially when they aren't
reciprocated. I think there is a point in every relationship where you have to
lay it on the table. If the second party involved comes back and lays the same
cards, you've struck a deal. If they don't, you have to walk away. We all come
to have to come to "walk away" points in life. It's a law of human nature that
we all want what we can't have. Most of us fall in love with the chase as much
as we do the person. The lure of the unattainable can drive us crazy. We tell
ourselves he's amazing, that she's the only one like that, that there could
never be another. Love isn't blind, infatuation is. If we aren't honest with
ourselves, ultimately, we end up backing ourselves into the same corners we
don't want to be stuck in. At the end of my college relationship, I realized
that even though it was hard to get over the rejection, the not being wanted, it
was even harder to realize and accept the fact that I was ok without him. I had
put myself in a corner (and tried to put him in one, too) that left us no
options other than each other. I'm so glad I didn't get what I wanted, though,
or I'd be miserable today. I think the biggest problem with relationships today
isn't the lack of communication, the in-laws, money or sex. I think the biggest
problem with relationships is the lies we tell ourselves. We don't see ourselves
for who we really are, flaws and all. We see ourselves as people who have to
have someone attached at the hip in order to be considered "normal". We have to
know ourselves, our strengths and our weaknesses in order to be completely
accepting of someone else. We have to realize that life does not hinge on
relationships, and can in fact, actually be more entertaining with out them (the
mushy kind, anyway). We are all entitled to emotions--to miss people we love, to
love people we like, to be angry or mad, or frustrated, or passionate or loopy
or head over heels. I admire David's forthrightness in expressing that emotion
to me--do I reciprocate it? No. Would he miss me still if he knew who he was? My
point is, probably not.

What a week, people. Yesterday I made an offer on a house--we'll see what
happens. Nothing set in stone yet. But we're asking for a closing date of
November 21, so there may be some Christmas parties in store for everyone. Keep
your fingers crossed. That took up my entire day yesterday. When Drew and I
finally sat down to dinner late last night, I could barely talk I was so
overwhelmed. So much stuff has been going on! To top that off, I couldn't sleep,
and got up and checked my email just now and there was one of those
heartbreaking "I miss you" notes from an ex. Talk about not wanting to hear
that. When it's over, it's over, and we've all gotta deal. That's life. And yes,
you are allowed to feed me my own medicine it opportunity (heaven forbid) ever
arises. But exes will eventually leave me alone, housing situations will one day
change. I'm not in love yet and the house doesn't have a fireplace. Right now
I'm just thankful that the week looks like it's ending better than it started.
And I'm tired so I'm going back to bed.

It was cold this morning when I woke up at 5:37. Everything outside was still,
muffled, and I could almost feel the frost on the windows just walking by them.
I wanted to put on my Frank Sinatra's Christmas and wrap up in a warm blanket
and sit by the fire sipping cinammon flavored hot chocolate (never had any, but
it sounds good). In an hour, we're going to look at a house for the second time.
It's charming and I think I might be in love with it. I'm learning that the
funny thing about shopping for houses is that you think you find something you
love and for one reason or another some talking-out-of-it happens and you end up
looking at more. After a long conversation with my parents this morning, I'm
more hesitant than I was last night. We'll see how it goes. There is a darling
fireplace, and at the moment, curling up in front of it is the only thing I want
to do. If I make an offer on this house today, it's going to be because, baby,
it's cold outside.

Things I'm thankful for: (to be edited througout the day) 1. Pink cable knit
hooded cashmere sweater. You know you want one. 2. The yummy lasagna I made last
night. Garlic is good for you. 3. My darling office. I LOVE zebra print carpet!
4. Vision. Potential. Dreams. 5. Lucy (in the sky with diamonds). 6. Totally
incredible people in my life (Ash, Kevin, Ragan, Drew, Kelly, the Erins, the
'rents...I could go on) 7. That I'm wearing shorts and it's November. 8. That
it's no longer 80 degrees outside and I actually got to wear wool today! 9. That
Oklahoma has the best barbeque in the nation. 10. The Eighties (I know,
weird...) 11. A boy I adore.

My friend Deanna is pregnant with her first child. They just bought a house in
Edmond, a Lexus SUV, and are head over heels for each other. She looked at me
the other day and told me it was almost all too good to be true, and that if she
blinked she was afraid the fairy tale would vanish. Ragan has a point. Sometimes
stuff is just too good to be true. (I'm just tying the point into life, instead
of hangover pills.) Pollyanna, I mean, Kevin has a point. Things could be worse.
(And I do have a heck of alot to be thankful for, I'm just going to wait until
tomorrow to blog it.) Ashly has a point. Chances are, things will get worse
before they get better. (But hopefully I've already hit that low.) I think my
point is that there will be days that suck and today is one of them.

Do you ever have those mornings where, really, even if you stayed in bed for the
rest of your life nothing could get any worse?

...and there are Weekends. For my avid followers everywhere, let me say that
this one qualified as a Weekend. All those involved, univolved and observing
from the skirts of normalcy will have stories to tell for years to come. It
started Friday night, with Hurricane Jane opening for Boland. Love Hurricane
Jane. They are some super talented, extra nice, cute people that I love to see
play. Love Boland, too, but I think he needs some new stuff. I'm ready for the
next wave. Apparently I missed out on the evening's later festivities. I think
it's a little shady for all those involved, but hopefully there will be
photographic evidence to document all the debauchery. Evidently, Ash decided to
override my Groupie Veto and put a separate clause in the WDAS consitution
stating that where green sharpies are involved, there shall be groupies. Note to
self: never leave home without camera. Saturday I was headed for the game by 10.
The game sucked, needless to say, but I had some great sandwiches and some
fabulous company. My cousin Marshall came out and drank/rolled/smoked us all
into the ground. Rock on, Marshall. I love my cousin. The rest of the evening
was quiet. I would have loved to see No Justice, but when ya get started as
early as 10 in the morning, the night's bound to end sooner. And speaking of
Sooners, they put me in a really bad mood and made me not want to see much of
their arrogant arses parading around wherever. Today I'm going to go to church
and then going hang out and get bored watching football. Over and out.